You Mother,
You Father,
I light a candle in my heart
for you today.
A candle that includes
all eight of us children,
born from you
yet left to find our own lights
almost from the day of our births.
You had your childhoods as well.
Childhoods that did not serve you either.
I cannot say what you missed,
or what your parents/grandparents missed
for not allowing your lights to glow.
I do know
all eight of us did not have the benefit
of “good enough” lighting.
Dim, sparse and sometimes dark
lights we knew in and through us.
Yet,
we were present at your
funeral/memorial services
acknowledging your presence
in our lives.
At the same time
witnessing our presence in yours.
We were not at your side
to hold you,
to touch you,
to comfort you.
Others were there for you.
I’m here to say now,
you missed out on us,
each and every one of us
that could have…
enlightened your spirits,
enlivened your hearts,
and perhaps even mirrored your souls.
Yes,
we missed you.
Both of you.
Who could have loved us
to find our candles to light
for us and others,
to know and express love
to you and others,
to see the love you missed
in us.
You
are fortunate
our Pate name
holds strong and is vibrant,
more from what we didn’t receive,
than from what we did.
We refuse to hate
for what we missed.
I’m sorry you missed us.
We are great. We are love.
We fight. We drink. We ride.
We laugh. We persevere.
We learn. We cry.
Sometimes we lash out in rage.
Sometimes we love completely.
You
cannot claim
much of what is us today.
These words…son, daughter, family…
were mostly words,
not threads that connected us.
Yes
today I light a candle
for all of us, each and every one of us.
To honor our source…
both of you.
You are remembered. You are missed.
Our truth
is sad for you.
Because both of you
missed us,
each and every one of us..
Dale
Carol
Deborah
Bruce
David (BJ)
Robert
Keith and Kenneth